The Optimist-The Pessimist After Yale
The Optimist can’t help but smile with a shake of his head as The Pessimist approaches their usual table.
The Optimist: I’ve got to admit it. I was a little nervous when Yale scored that last touchdown.
The Pessimist: Rightfully so. The Bulldogs had you guys on the ropes until they gave the game away with another sorry defensive performance.
The Optimist: That was actually one of the best Yale defensive games against us I can remember. They didn’t give anything away. We took it away.
The Pessimist: Uh, they let you march right down the field at the end. I guess we can agree to disagree on that one.
The Optimist: One thing we can agree on is that this week’s game will be a walkover. I mean, Fordham is a dumpster fire.
The Pessimist: There were probably more than a few people in Not-So-Happy Valley who were thinking the same thing a couple of weeks ago when the Nittany Lions played out in La-La Land, and I’m sure you know how what happened.
The Optimist: I’m pretty sure the BGA guy won’t be happy you brought that game up. But the fact remains, Fordham is lucky to be 1-5. They are giving up 40.8 points per game, and their only victory was over winless Holy Cross by an oh-so-impressive 26-21 score.
The Pessimist: I’ll remind you that when Penn State lost to UCLA, the Bruins were winless, and a lot of people were saying they might be the worst team in the country. You've heard of Any Given Saturday, right?
The Optimist: You’ve made your point. But you have to admit, Fordham is by far the weakest team we will have played to date.
The Pessimist: That may well be, but keep in mind it is their Homecoming, and they are coming off a bye, which gave them time to get healthy and polish their game plan for Dartmouth.
The Optimist: I’m not expecting much of a game, but I’m sure the approach in Floren Varsity House this week will be the same as it is every week. “Let’s go 1-0.”
The Pessimist: That was the rallying cry for the now-former coach out in State College. How did that work out?
The Optimist: Seriously? That again? After Fordham we have Columbia, which is absolutely reeling. They stumbled to 1-3 with another loss last week.
The Pessimist: You conveniently left out the fact that the Columbia loss was to No. 7 Lehigh. That's no disgrace. The final score, by the way, was 31-7. You'll be glad to know Yale lost at Lehigh one week earlier, 31-13. Given that Yale and Columbia had similar showings against Lehigh, and that you needed a miracle finish to survive Yale, I think you might want to give Columbia a little more respect.
The Optimist: I think saying we needed a “miracle finish” to beat Yale is a bit of hyperbole. We certainly won’t need a miracle to get by the hapless Lions.
The Pessimist: I should probably mention that while Columbia played Lehigh just as tough as Yale did, they were without their starting quarterback. Oh, and without their No. 2 quarterback as well. They were playing with a junior QB who hadn't thrown a single pass in his career before getting a battlefield promotion against Princeton in Week Three.
The Optimist: All the more reason why we should be on a roll when we head down to Harvard.
The Pessimist: Slow down there big guy. I'm not done talking about Columbia. You may want to keep in mind that the Columbia quarterbacks will have had a chance to get healthy before they come up here. And that will give the Lions a chance to get healthy against you.
The Optimist: Blah, blah, blah. Afer we take care of Columbia I like our chances against Harvard.
The Pessimist: Of course you do. You do know Harvard is undefeated and ranked 18th in the country in the Stats poll, right?
The Optimist: Yes, I’ve seen that, but I also saw their game last week against Cornell. I was not impressed.
The Pessimist: I agree it wasn’t a particularly impressive showing, but the Crimson's high-flying offense came into the Cornell game averaging 53 points per game.
The Optimist: Yup, and that offense managed all of two touchdowns and two field goals in there 34-10 win over the winless Big Red. The other 14 points were scored by their defense.
The Pessimist: So what you are telling me is, in addition to a potent scoring offense, Harvard has a potent scoring defense.
The Optimist: You are incorrigible. After creaming the Crimson, something I always wanted to say, we’ve got struggling Princeton, which lost again last week.
The Pessimist: Just like Columbia, you fail to mention the Princeton loss wasn't exactly to a creampuff. It was to No. 16/20 Mercer.
The Optimist: Let me get this right. Princeton was crushed by a top-25 team – and we beat one in our opener. Advantage: Dartmouth.
The Pessimist: Ha. You’ll be glad to know New Hampshire is now 3-4 and not only is not in the top-25 anymore, but they aren’t even in the “also receiving votes” category.
The Optimist: After Princeton we stay home and get winless and hapless Cornell, which isn’t going to put up much of a fight on the road against one of the Ivy League’s flagship programs.
The Pessimist: You mean like they did last week at Harvard?
The Optimist: Either way, they are still hapless.
The Pessimist: Which is exactly what they seemed to be a few years back when they came into Memorial Field with a 2-6 record and dealt you your only loss of the season.
The Optimist: Thanks for reminding me, but this is a different year. I really like the way our schedule wraps up. Princeton, Cornell and Brown. Princeton is a little better this year than last, but we’ve pretty much had our way with them in recent years. Cornell is still Cornell. And Brown might be “receiving votes” right now, but I think people who vote for them need to remember they were pummeled by Harvard, 41-7.
The Pessimist: I do remember that Brown threw up on itself against Harvard, but I prefer to remember that they beat No. 8 Rhode Island, and followed that up with a win over Bryant. They are 3-1 for the first time since 2013.
The Optimist: It's been that long since they were 3-1? Pretty sad, actually. But all I care about right now is going 1-0 this week.
The Pessimist: It would be pretty hard to go 2-0 but if anyone could promise it will happen, it would be you.
The Optimist: Wise guy. On that note, I’m out of here.
The Pessimist: We’ll talk when you return from the Big Apple whether you are 1-0 or 0-1.
