HANOVER – Like everyone in town, The Optimist and The Pessimist look forward to Week Seven of the season more than any week of the year. Like generations of Dartmouth students, they thoroughly enjoy trading the peace and quiet of the Upper Valley for a weekend in and around Boston. But first the two old boys need to hash out what they saw last week, and what they expect to see going forward.
The Optimist: It’s always a good time when Dartmouth people get together in Boston and we get a chance to celebrate another win in Cambridge.
The Pessimist: Not quite.
The Optimist: OK, I'll rephrase that just for you. Celebrate another game in Cambridge.
The Pessimist: That's still wrong. Harvard Stadium is across the river from Cambridge in Allston, which is actually a Boston neighborhood.
The Pessimist: Guilty as charged.
The Optimist: Whether we’re talking Cambridge, Allston or Boston, what we’re heading to Massachusetts to enjoy is the Harvard game, and it’s one I’ve been waiting for since last season.
The Pessimist: Looking for payback after what happened last fall at Memorial Field, are you? I seem to recall the Crimson drove 94 and 73 yards for touchdowns in the final six minutes to erase a 10-point deficit and beat you, 31-27, on a TD with 27 seconds left a year ago at Memorial Field.
The Optimist: Thanks for the play-by-play. I suppose payback is part of it. But the bottom line is, I can’t wait to see the high and mighty Crimson brought down a few notches.
The Pessimist: You and the rest of the Ivy League.
The Optimist: True. But in this case, it’s annoying how I keep reading about the big numbers Harvard has put up this fall when they’ve been playing nothing but tomato cans.
The Pessimist: I’m not sure what old boxing movies you’ve been watching, but tomato cans? Are you from the 1940s?
The Optimist: Harvard is 6-0 but it’s a hollow 6-0. Their wins have come against teams that are a combined 12-23.
The Pessimist: You have a point. I don’t think their resumé to date is going to impress the folks who determine the FCS playoff field, if it gets to that.
The Optimist: It won’t. But unlike Dartmouth coach Sammy McCorkle, who quickly brushed off a young reporter’s question about the postseason after last week’s game, I’m glad to talk playoffs. I think the committee will really like the way we’ve hit our stride the past two weeks, outscoring our opponents, 70-16.
The Pessimist: Harvard has outscored its opponents this fall, 259-69. You’ve outscored your opponents, 182-116. Advantage Crimson.
The Optimist: Oh please. Our first three wins were tight, one-possession games against teams with winning records, unlike Harvard’s early season cupcakes, who are a combined 12-23.
The Pessimist: First tomato cans. Now cupcakes. Careful there, big guy.
The Optimist: Careful because?
The Pessimist: Because if you are critical of Harvard putting up big numbers against opposition that is combined 12-23 I need to remind you that the teams you beat since you, as you put it, “hit your stride” are, drumroll please, a combined 2-12. Not exactly a murderer’s row. Fordham is 1-7 and Columbia is 1-5.
The Optimist: You can only beat who is in front of you, and that’s what we did. Convincingly.
The Pessimist: Which is exactly what Harvard has done. Convincingly. Thanks for making my case.
The Optimist: OK, enough about Harvard. After we take care of the Crimson we have a two-game home-stand beginning with Princeton. We couldn’t ask for a better way to kick off the final weeks of the season than to play a team that hasn’t beaten us on Memorial Field since 2009. I mean, they’ve had some pretty good teams since then and couldn’t win in Hanover, and this isn't one of those teams.
The Pessimist: Their 38-28 win over Lafayette, at Lafayette mind you, caught my attention. So did the 40-21 pounding of Brown, which was playing with confidence coming off back-to-back wins over No. 8 Rhode Island and Bryant.
The Optimist: You conveniently forgot about the Tigers limping to a 17-10 win over the Columbia team we just crushed. They’ve lost two of their last three.
The Pessimist: It’s no disgrace losing to No. 14 Harvard and No. 19 Mercer.
The Optimist: After dispatching Princeton we’ve got 2-4 Cornell and we’ll be ready for them after they surprised us at their place last year.
The Pessimist: You better be ready for them because they have found something. After a tough start they’ve won their last two. We’ll know more after Saturday when they host Princeton.
The Optimist: Let’s be real. Yes, Cornell won its last two but one was against lowly Bucknell and the other was against Brown in overtime. We’ll get to Brown in a moment but I can tell you beating Bucknell does not impress me.
The Pessimist: How about beating Richmond? Bucknell beat ‘em.
The Optimist: I’m getting a little tired of playing the “who beat who” game.
The Pessimist: Actually, it should be the “who beat whom game” – because whom is the object of the verb beat.
The Optimist: Has it come to this? But to answer your question, beating Bucknell, which beat Richmond, does not impress me. Holy Cross has just one win this year and that win came against Richmond.
The Pessimist: Fair enough.
The Optimist: After we take down Harvard, beat Princeton and Cornell at home, we head down to Brown and there’s probably no one I’d rather be playing to protect our Ivy League lead.
The Pessimist: That’s assuming you have the Ivy League lead.
The Optimist: Don’t forget who you are dealing with. Now where were we? Oh yeah, Brown. They’ve lost their last two games and are back to their old tricks, giving up points by the boatload. They thought they were hot stuff after pounding Georgetown in their opener but then took a 41-7 licking from Harvard. Two weeks ago Princeton scored 40 on them. There’s no D in Brown, Bears or Bruno, whatever they call themselves.
The Pessimist: Be forewarned, they are capable of an upset. Perhaps I should remind you that earlier this season they had that stunning 28-21 win over then-No. 8 Rhode Island.
The Optimist: Perhaps I should remind you we’ve beaten them seven times in a row and 10 out of the last 11 meetings. They haven’t beaten us in Providence since 2009, and we’ve won our last four games against them by 28, 25, 23 and 21 points.
The Pessimist: Perhaps I should remind you that earlier this season they had that stunning 28-21 win over then-No. 8 Rhode Island.
The Optimist: You already said that.
The Pessimist: Oops. That can mean just one thing.
The Optimist: Two things. First, you are running out of things to say. And second, it's time for us to wrap things up. See you next week after we beat Harvard to grab a share of the Ivy League lead.
The Pessimist: I'll see you next week, either way.