HANOVER – It was a little brisk, but The Optimist and The Pessimist enjoyed their annual visit to the top of the stadium last week. With Cornell in the books and Brown on tap they spent Tuesday morning back at their usual table, at their usual meeting place, having their usual back-and-forth, perhaps for the last time this fall. Or perhaps not.
The Optimist: We’re headed into Week 10 of the season and even without Ivy League championship ramifications for the first time in three years I can’t believe I’m just as excited as I was before the opener.
The Pessimist: I can’t believe you are either.
The Optimist: Well, I am. It’s another chance to go 1-0.
The Pessimist: That’s getting as tiring as 6-7.
The Optimist: What’s that?
The Pessimist: Don’t ask.
The Optimist: Why?
The Pessimist: I’m serious. Don’t ask.
The Optimist: Whatever. There’s no title on the line, but with the FCS draw on Sunday, beating Brown is important. And beating them impressively is the most important thing of all.
The Pessimist: Not quite.
The Optimist: Oh, I think so. I’ve seen a few different bracketologists that have us as either one of the last four in, or the first four out of the playoffs. So I really do think beating Brown impressively is the most important thing.
The Pessimist: Important? Yes. Most important? No. The most important thing for you is Harvard beating Yale down in New Haven.
The Optimist: Go on.
The Pessimist: If Yale wins that game, the Bulldogs get the Ivy League’s automatic bid, and I promise you one-loss Harvard would have the inside track at the playoffs over you. If Harvard wins, it would be a coin flip between you and Yale for the at-large bid. If the Ivy is going to get two teams in, of course.
The Optimist: Then I guess I have no choice but to root for Harvard. That said, I think you have it wrong. It’s no coin flip between us and Yale. I mean, we beat them head-to-head, full stop, end of sentence.
The Pessimist: I agree that’s important, but there will be other factors that come into play if the committee does a deep dive into your respective seasons.
The Optimist: Such as?
The Pessimist: OK, let's assume the Crimson wins Saturday. In that case, Yale will have a loss to Harvard, and a road loss at Dartmouth on a buzzer beater. Dartmouth will have a loss to Harvard and a home win over Yale on a buzzer beater. That's almost a wash.
The Optimist: We can agree to disagree on that.
The Pessimist: OK, how about this? Yale will have a road loss on a buzzer beater to a second-place team. Dartmouth has a bad loss to a 5-4 Penn team that is in fourth place in the conference and could slip to fifth. There are no black marks like that on Yale’s resumé.
The Optimist: Do I need to remind you, they will have three losses and we will have two?
The Pessimist: Noted. But keep in mind, the Yale loss we haven’t mentioned so far was at No. 4 Lehigh. That’s no disgrace. Of course, none of this matters if you don’t take care of business at Brown.
The Optimist: I’m not terribly concerned. They are 1-5 in the Ivy League and barely survived a 32-29 shootout with lowly Columbia a few days ago.
The Pessimist: You better play well. I'll remind you that three weeks ago Brown lost by just a touchdown at Penn, who I seem to recall beat you at the same venue, 36-24.
The Optimist: C’mon. They lost to Cornell and Princeton, two teams we just beat. I mean, Princeton slapped 40 points on them.
The Pessimist: Noted, again. But then there’s the matter of Brown upsetting the No. 8/10 team in the nation earlier this fall. That shows they are capable of rising up and beating a very good team.
The Optimist: That team was Rhode Island, so it was a rivalry game. You know anything can happen in a rivalry game.
The Pessimist: You mean like you and Brown? That’s a rivalry game. If you don’t believe me, ask the Ivy League. I just dug up the conference's release ahead of the 2018 season when the schedule was changed to Dartmouth and Brown would end the season against each other. The Ivy release reads: “The Ivy League football schedule has been modified to enhance the excitement of the final weekend of the season, with historic regional rivalries closing the seasons for all eight schools.”
The Optimist: Cracks me up that they tried to portray Dartmouth-Brown as a “historic, regional rivalry.” I’ll buy it for six schools. I'm OK with Penn-Princeton as a rivalry because of hoops. Cornell-Columbia because of the New York thing. Harvard-Yale just because. But our series with Brown? Not a rivalry.
The Pessimist: That’s why the BGA guy is trying to sell the game as The Tussle.
The Optimist: I like it, but there’s a reason why that’s not catching on. Regardless of what that lame Ivy League release says, this is not a rivalry series in any way, shape or form. It would help if the series is relatively even, but Dartmouth has a 46-19-2 record in the series since the start of the Ivy League. It’s not even close, and the game won’t be this year.
The Pessimist: You still better watch out for them.
The Optimist: I’m not taking Brown for granted. But let’s be serious. Brown coach James Perry is 0-5 all-time against Dartmouth and except for the first meeting, the games haven’t been remotely competitive. We’ve outscored them over the last four games, 176-79. Last year we doubled them up, 56-28.
The Pessimist: I can’t help but remind you they’ve brought back the strong-armed quarterback who burned you for 364 yards through the air a year ago.
The Optimist: Yeah, while losing by four touchdowns. Let me remind you, we had 308 yards through the air and 244 on the ground against them a year ago. Talk about burned. That’s 552 yards to go with eight touchdowns.
The Pessimist: They tossed two interceptions and lost a fumble last year. If they don’t make those mistakes, it’s a game.
The Optimist: If, huh? I’ve got an if for you. If our new best friends from Cambridge do us a solid, I’m pretty confident we’ll be on pins and needles watching the FCS Playoff Selection Show at noon on Sunday.
The Pessimist: Maybe, but it won’t matter unless you get that “impressive” win you covet over your regional rival first.
The Optimist: You know how much it annoys me when you talk in quotes. I’ll see you next week.
The Pessimist: Next week? We’ll find out about that this weekend. Next year? We'll see. Either way, it’s been fun.