HANOVER – There is a small jack-o-lantern in the middle of their usual table when The Optimist and The Pessimist sit down. The old boys hardly notice. They are all business this Halloween Week.
The Optimist: I can’t think of a better way to come into a big game than off a dominating win over a really good football team. On the road and in their Homecoming game, no less.
The Pessimist: I thought you played Columbia last week.
The Optimist: Very funny. As that writer guy who does that blog has said a few times, this is not your father’s Columbia. I mean, these guys were 4-1 with dreams of their second Ivy League title in three years.
The Pessimist: Dreams is right.
The Optimist: Maybe you forget they were coming off a dramatic win over Penn at Franklin Field the week before we beat them.
The Pessimist: Maybe you forget that their 4-1 record consisted of overtime wins against sad sacks Georgetown and Lafayette, beating Marist of the powerhouse Pioneer Football League and escaping Franklin Field with a win when the Quakers had a brain cramp on the game’s final play.
The Optimist: We say it all the time, you can only beat who is on your schedule.
The Pessimist: And lose to who is on your schedule, as they did to Princeton, 35-7, something you conveniently did not mention.
The Optimist: They lost, but you should know Columbia had more yards, many more first downs, and much more possession time.
The Pessimist: And Princeton had lot more points, period, full stop. Speaking of which, if Penn kicks a very makeable field goal at the end last week, the "really good" Columbia team you beat Saturday would now be 0-3 in the Ivy League.
The Optimist: Whatever, we are loaded for bear this week.
The Pessimist: Brown is Week 10. You better be ready for the undefeated Crimson this week.
The Optimist: Very funny. Speaking of Brown, you do realize Harvard barely got by them. I mean, Brown had the ball and the momentum in the final two minutes before a Harvard interception let the Crimson escape with a 14-10 win. And I'll have you know, outside of Providence, no one had been talking about Brown as being a potential Ivy League contender.
The Pessimist: Well, they were talking that way about Cornell after they beat Yale and Lehigh, and you saw what Harvard did to them, right? After the Big Red got out to a 10-0 lead, Harvard reeled off the next 41 points. Then last week, Harvard had Princeton, which was being talked about as a potential Ivy champion. At least they were until Harvard methodically built a 21-0 lead and went on to a 35-7 win. Keep in mind, Princeton had given up just 30 points in its previous four games combined.
The Optimist: I will remind you Harvard needed a clutch performance from their veteran quarterback to pull out a 31-27 win the last time they played at Dartmouth. This year, their offense is being run by a young and untested quarterback who hasn’t been in a big game like this before.
The Pessimist: How about last week? I seem to recall Princeton the game was a showdown for the undisputed Ivy League lead by the last two teams without a loss in conference play.
The Optimist: That was at Harvard Stadium. It will be different on the road.
The Pessimist: You better hope so because that “young and untested” quarterback completed 22-of-28 passes for 230 yards and two touchdowns without an interception last week against a very good Princeton defense. In three Ivy League games, he’s completing a mind-boggling 81.5 percent of his passes. He has a league-high seven touchdowns in Ivy play, and his passer efficiency is 167.1, which is off-the-charts ahead of any other QB in the league. All of that should have you worried given your struggles defending the pass.
The Optimist: Whatever. After Harvard, we’ve got Princeton, and we’ve had their number. We’ve beaten them three times in a row, five times in the last six meetings, and 12 out of the last 15 times we’ve played them.
The Pessimist: If you think your history against Princeton gives you an advantage in the series, then turnabout is fair play. I'll remind you that you have beaten Harvard just four times since 1997.
The Optimist: After we make it five time and win out we’ll be on our way to the FCS playoffs. We’ll have the head-to-head advantage over the Crimson even if they win the rest of their games and finish with just one Ivy League loss.
The Pessimist: That’s supposing, of course, you not only beat Harvard and Princeton, but then win at Cornell and against Brown. I seem to recall the last time you played in Ithaca they put a 39-22 hurt on you. For the record, they are the highest-scoring team in the Ivy League this year.
The Optimist: After Cornell we finish our run to the playoffs against Brown, whose supposedly strong defense got exposed last week when the Big Red scored 31 points against them.
The Pessimist: In a losing effort. Brown won that game, 38-31.
The Optimist: We’ve got Brown at home, where we haven’t lost to them since 2016.
The Pessimist: True, but with an outside shot at a share of the Ivy League title last year, you let Brown beat you, 35-28.
The Optimist: It’s not going to happen this year.
The Pessimist: Which is not going to happen? You having a shot at the title on the final day of the season or Brown beating you?
The Optimist: I don’t like trick questions.
The Pessimist: Trick or treat. While we’re on the subject of Halloween, be sure to lay in some Almond Joys to hand out on Saturday because that’s the only Joy you’ll have after Harvard.
The Optimist: Very funny. Remember, we've got Harvard on Mischief Night, which is the perfect time for us to cause the Crimson trouble. I can just see, after we beat them, trees all over campus being festooned with toilet tissue streamers.
The Pessimist: What is this, the 1950s? There’s a much better chance the only tissues we see Friday night are Kleenex in the hands of alums drying their eyes after yet another disappointing date with the Crimson. I can hear them already muttering their unhappiness about losing to Harvard and then about having to drive home in the dark after another of those blasted night games.
The Optimist: Time will tell.
The Pessimist: Speaking of which, don't forget to fall back Saturday night. See you an hour earlier next week.